Bring me back to MY unfamiliar territory

Posted on: October 12, 2011

I am not liking it here.

Sitting idly on my bed for hours, in my room, at my parents’ house. I am not liking the familiarity it gives me.

I got back last Friday… or Saturday as it was already 2AM and it’s been barely a week and I am yearning to go back to the mountains. I miss the peace and quiet. I miss my 6:30AM breakfast. I miss the almost eerie silence of Magnetite apartment. I miss walking up that steep slope to our office while carrying this heavy weights disguised as a laptop. I miss my Benguet brew indulgence.

The only few things that I miss when I’m away is my family and my crazy bunch of friends. I don’t miss the urban chaos, especially when I’m lost  inside the corporate jungle.

I can’t help but do a little (okay, huge!) comparison of the place, the people, and of what I am when I’m home  against what I become when I am alone in that slightly unfamiliar territory. I like silence. I value moments when I can hear my own thoughts (but not too much that it makes me crazy and paranoid) as it somehow clears my head off any negativities. I am thankful for those moments when I can just stand there on the veranda, stare at the mountains and marvel at God’s magnificent creations while enjoying a cup of coffee… in my PJs.

Getting smiled at is a freebie – an everyday treat from the people in the community. I don’t know, it’s probably just me but it only takes one sincere smile and a nod from someone to make my day right. It’s like being appreciated, not necessarily wanted. But the very idea that people acknowledge your existence and that feeling of being welcomed gives me a huge kick! I’ve been to (and still sometimes experiences) situations wherein I feel so invisible and that nobody gives a shit about me. Depletes my confidence level  ’til I cross that line to apathy. I turn into a girl schmuck.

My work load is the same when I’m in Padcal but it helps that I am in a very relaxed and laid back environment, thus, my productivity level is definitely higher. Here, the remedy to stress is a diversion – focusing on another source of stress – a person (i.e. your boss or a snotty colleague ).

I can go on and on and on and not finish. Bottomline, I am happy to be going back this weekend. =)

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