Dreadfully excited

Posted on: June 14, 2010

Two more nights and I’d be starting a full-time work again. I can’t exactly describe what I feel but it’s like a mix of dread and excitement. It’s like I’ve been in an infinite vacation (waking up whenever I want to and feeling like I have all the time in the world) and it would be cut short as I have to report to an office from 8am to 6pm. Before, when I stay at home for about a week just to rest, I easily get bored and wished I was back working in the office.

It’s been a month and a half since I’ve been free, working sort of full-time but really just working from home most of the time, lazying around whenever I feel like it. I screwed up my body clock pretty bad and I’ve been trying to fix it since last week. I successfully slept a little before midnight and got out of bed at 8 in the morning today. A first time after how many weeks. Not a bad start, I thought. And I still have two days, rather, two nights left. I can just hope that everything will be fine once I step into that new office and work around strangers.

I guess finding my footing in new environments has always been a challenge for me. For the past five years, I didn’t have to do any of that ‘coz I believed I have found mine among friends I’ve  made in my previous work. But as trees wither, so does time and things change whether we like it or not. I always thought that I would never be able to make it when I get lost in my comfort zone, that I would not be able to carry the burden of being left alone and starting again. Well, I’ve been left alone and I waddled in the flow just fine. Now, I am yet to find out if I’d be able to start anew with a whole new bunch of people and a new set of responsibilities while at it.

I guess I have to wish myself luck. =)

***

Oh, and after work today (yes, I had to report to my sort of full time work), I thought I’d do some grocery shopping since I’ve ran out of facial wash and conditioner. As always, I end up buying more than what’s in my mind’s list and what my budget can afford. What’s so different about today was I actually enjoyed rounding the isles and picking things that (I feel) has to be in my pushcart. I people-watched and eavesdropped to my heart’s content as always and tried to imitate people when they’re choosing between cooked or smoked ham – smelling frozen meat when it’s not even necessary. I also find it funny when people look at what’s in your cart and they’re expecting you to look at their carts too as if telling you “Look, my cart is overflowing, I’m buying imported stuff and I can afford all these!” Right. And the kids, pointing here and there and throwing tantrums when the mom refuses to buy what they want. I was like that before. I was pretty annoying. And watching them now just makes me smile.

THIS also makes me smile…

Meet my new favorite blood sucker – Eric Northman of True Blood =)

Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgard playing Vampire Eric in TB

Watching season 2 now and it’s not bad. =)

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