Archive for June 2010

Found this while browsing Powerbooks for some good read and a laptop bag:

I wish the title's a little more creative though...=)

Anyway, simple things like this gives me joy more than you can imagine.

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I am unsure what I was doing sitting in that open cubicle, sitting next to a guy (or gay) who looked like he over smeared with talcum powder and was wearing bloody red lipstick. I was wondering if he’s into Twilight or True Blood. While trying very hard to keep myself busy (it’s just my second day), my mind was also busy ingesting the thought that yup, I’ve caged myself again – in a high rise corporate empire, devoid of the feel of the outside world.

How I feel is the most natural thing in the world. It exactly mimics that untrashable feeling of going to school for the first time and learning that your mom already left and you have no choice but to face the day – that long, agonizing day of feeling unsure and skeptic, but curious at the same time. So I endured my first day and my second, and I think I’m loosening up a little bit. Odd but I feel pressured.

I am to head a team – a pre-existing one with pre-existing members. I was a new recruit, they were veterans, old breeds (too much war books, I know). These people are a nice bunch which in my two days I could already tell,are very serious about their work and they don’t want someone coming in and messing it up. I feel they could swat me anytime. I seriously feel like I am being observed. Paranoia aside, i think they are already expecting me to kick my gear and ramp up the whole thing. But I am still clueless as to how to go about it. They are still feeding me information and I am devouring it like a biggest loser contestant finally out of diet.

A colleague told me on my very first day: “You have to make these people aware that someone is monitoring them,” she said while glancing at the group of girls who are doing telemarketing while skype chatting. I just replied,“Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet,” not exactly sure if I was referring to them or to myself. Seriously, I feel unnecessary pressure creeping over me and I should be ashamed. I was given an opportunity and I grabbed it without so much eyelash-batting so I should really step it up.

Courage. A little bit of pride. I need ’em right now.

Two more nights and I’d be starting a full-time work again. I can’t exactly describe what I feel but it’s like a mix of dread and excitement. It’s like I’ve been in an infinite vacation (waking up whenever I want to and feeling like I have all the time in the world) and it would be cut short as I have to report to an office from 8am to 6pm. Before, when I stay at home for about a week just to rest, I easily get bored and wished I was back working in the office.

It’s been a month and a half since I’ve been free, working sort of full-time but really just working from home most of the time, lazying around whenever I feel like it. I screwed up my body clock pretty bad and I’ve been trying to fix it since last week. I successfully slept a little before midnight and got out of bed at 8 in the morning today. A first time after how many weeks. Not a bad start, I thought. And I still have two days, rather, two nights left. I can just hope that everything will be fine once I step into that new office and work around strangers.

I guess finding my footing in new environments has always been a challenge for me. For the past five years, I didn’t have to do any of that ‘coz I believed I have found mine among friends I’ve  made in my previous work. But as trees wither, so does time and things change whether we like it or not. I always thought that I would never be able to make it when I get lost in my comfort zone, that I would not be able to carry the burden of being left alone and starting again. Well, I’ve been left alone and I waddled in the flow just fine. Now, I am yet to find out if I’d be able to start anew with a whole new bunch of people and a new set of responsibilities while at it.

I guess I have to wish myself luck. =)

***

Oh, and after work today (yes, I had to report to my sort of full time work), I thought I’d do some grocery shopping since I’ve ran out of facial wash and conditioner. As always, I end up buying more than what’s in my mind’s list and what my budget can afford. What’s so different about today was I actually enjoyed rounding the isles and picking things that (I feel) has to be in my pushcart. I people-watched and eavesdropped to my heart’s content as always and tried to imitate people when they’re choosing between cooked or smoked ham – smelling frozen meat when it’s not even necessary. I also find it funny when people look at what’s in your cart and they’re expecting you to look at their carts too as if telling you “Look, my cart is overflowing, I’m buying imported stuff and I can afford all these!” Right. And the kids, pointing here and there and throwing tantrums when the mom refuses to buy what they want. I was like that before. I was pretty annoying. And watching them now just makes me smile.

THIS also makes me smile…

Meet my new favorite blood sucker – Eric Northman of True Blood =)

Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgard playing Vampire Eric in TB

Watching season 2 now and it’s not bad. =)

I don’t mean the sky (although it’s very sullen and gloomy today) but this little scheming money-making cable company called Skycable! I am so mad I am running out of adjectives. =S

I’ve been a subscriber to their cable service for about three or four years already and less than a month ago, I had a skybroadband installed at home. But ever since I got this service, I’ve been getting nothing but headache. And they have the meanest and the most unreliable customer service too!

The reason for my ranting was that the whole weekend, the tv cable was down, ergo, no internet connection for me too. And when I called their customer service (about noon yesterday, Saturday), I was given this flimsy excuse that they were doing some sort of troubleshooting for a cable connection in a location close to us, thus, ours was affected. And I WAS PROMISED that the interruption would only be a while. But guess what, it wasn’t until an hour ago (Sunday already, about 6pm) that the cable came back on (thus, my internet connection up and running again).

What annoys me the most is the incapability of these customer service representatives to tell their poor subscribers the truth. If it’s going to be down the whole weekend, they must’ve just told us and so we don’t have to flip on the tv once every effin’ five minutes to check if the cable is already working. Us, and our neighbors who are also helpless Sky subscribers have been comparing notes and we’ve come to a conclusion -Skycable’s service quality is going down and down… and fast too!

The skybroadband that I AM SUPPOSED to be enjoying now is 2Mbps but it’s very slow – slower than when we had Globe’s 1Mbps connection. It’s too slow that downloading a 76MB MP3 file takes two hours! How can that be? The first two days it was installed, it was very fast…very impressive in fact. But after that, it’s quite a nightmare. And even having it installed was unbelievable. I practically HAD TO BEG for these stupid helpdesk people to go to my house and install the @*#$damned thing. For two days, nobody came and I had to call their customer service ten times a day (no exaggeration!) just to follow up.

I tried looking for reviews but I guess I did a little too late already. Every review that I read are of annoyed and angry subscribers, who pretty much already say what I wanted to say.. to quote one very angry subscriber”

“Slow,intermittent,NO connection
loss of internet service constantly
About as much use as 56kb dial up
Worst tech support of any comms outfit I have ever experienced!!!”

Sky sucks. I’ll be switching to a different provider the first chance that I get.

I want to kill it. I need to kill it – this very bad habit of sleeping very late and waking up incredibly late (mostly in time for pm snacks already). I know the hazards it poses to my physical and mental health and the compromises I need to do for work but this is something that has gone beyond my control. I am ruined and I feel so helpless. I’ve had this sleeping problem ever since I can remember but this is, by far, the worst.

When I was still working full time, my journey to dreamland had never been easy too. But I could solve it by reading a few lines in a book or just counting invisible Brandon Boyds jumping over my mosquito net. I figured it would be more fun to count a pretty face and a hot body than boring sheeps. And they were so effective. Sometimes when I’m reading, I haven’t even finished a full paragraph and I feel my eyes weighing down already.

But this – this taking a bath at 2 in the morning (it’s really hot!) and drinking/eating whatever I find in our fridge and staying up without any reason, is such a sick waste. No matter how I make myself sleepy (I don’t drink coffee anymore before I hit the sheets unlike before… yes, I do that. Freak me) like reading a book, or staring at a wall, or counting the jumping shirtless rockgod, or singing lullaby to myself (how pathetic is that!) – normally just a bunch of humming with a screwed up melody – I still can’t get a shuteye.

I would lie down there in the dark with a very exhausted body and a very much awake mind- as if it’s on Modafinil or some psychoactive drug. I would toss and turn, which I want to believe is involuntary since I am not really willing myself to move. Sometimes I would lie very straight and very still, trying to feel dead or something and prohibit myself from opening my eyes at the slightest sound. And I always dread picking up a book because I tell you, I will finish that and won’t stop since I won’t feel sleepy anyway until I am very near the end.

Exhibit A – My clock reads 3:05 am and I am not feeling anything that signifies sleepiness. Oh my cheeks, I even hear the roosters’ cock-a-doodle-do already! I am very screwed. I will have to wake up earlier later because I have to report to “work.” One of our ‘bosses’ is in Manila and would be meeting us today.

Geez.

I better get some medical attention.

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I was in the midst of hibernation but while browsing through Popseoul, I saw this…

yay!

… and I found myself being transformed to a shrieking (annoying) fan-girl once again. So, Won Bin can really break my silence. Big deal. =)

My whole family likes Won Bin (our dog was named after him, or is that bad?). Yes, even my pop (sort of) when we first saw him in that korean war movie Tae Gukgi. More than being a pretty face and a hot bod, this guy is real stuff when it comes to acting. If he were a Marines (he enlisted in the army some two years ago), he would be an ‘Asiatic’ – a term coined by the Marines to refer to an old breed which has quite a “different” (leaning toward being particularly odd from how I understood it) personality. Not that Won Bin totally lost it when he got out but he was, well, different – more aware I think.I’ve been reading too much war books…haha.

And so yes, I love him to pieces so I can’t wait for this movie to come out. =)

I welcomed the first day of June sleeping until 1 in the afternoon (yes, I know… what a way to start a month) and cooking! Yay! =) I’ve been trying hard to learn how to cook and I finally got the courage to get my a** moving and my hands dirty.

My pop bought some mussels since I’ve been dying to experiment on grilling some with a pesto topping. And oh, with a quickmelt cheese of course. So, I spent the rest of my day sweating in our little kitchen, trying yet again to improvise some recipe I got from watching the Food Network and browsing through that huge Italian cookbook my little brother bought from a booksale. Very useful indeed. I often improvise because most of the ingredients they mention are either hard to pronounce (which means it’s expensive most of the time) or not available in our fridge (which again, we don’t normally buy because they are expensive!)

Good thing I have some of these left over olive oil from the red whine-infused carbonara pasta I cooked for my sister’s birthday (another one of my experiments. They ate it ‘coz they didn’t have a choice) I also found a pack of sliced roasted almonds and some bread crumbs in our cupboard. So with a whole clove of garlic which I pounded like crazy together with the rest of ingredients, I mixed my own pesto spread.

Here’s the result with the mussels recipe (notice, the quickmelt didn’t melt… bah humbug!):

Voila!

Then I cooked my very own interpretation of Gising-Gising for dinner. Instead of using Baguio Beans, I used Kangkong Stems (Water Spinach). I used coconut milk and about six pieces of green chilis for the whole gising (waking up) effect, and 1/4 kilo of ground pork. With my pop’s help, it took me only about 20-30 minutes to prepare the whole dish.

Hot! =)

‘Til my next adventures in the kitchen. For now, I need to sleep. =)


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