Archive for March 2009
It’s not even the middle of the week and I already want it so bad to be weekend!
There are such a lot of morons everywhere. Moron spitting at the curb while you’re waiting for a cab. Moron trying to cut in the line in FX terminals. Moron trying to eye you from head to foot as if you’re some kind of an extra terrestial that is worthy of a rude stare. Moron trying to suffocate you with that kick-nose stench of sweat and dirt so friggin’ early in the morning. Moron who smokes cigarette in public transportation while choking all the other passengers. ‘Moronness‘ tapping her filthy little filth while you’re still using the can. Moronness denying you the change for a 500 peso bill when you just saw her mounds of smaller peso bills when she accidentally opened her register. Moron trying to mask their insecurities trying to act as a pathetic know-it-all. Moron being a total blabber mouth for a guy. Moron who laughs like a sissy girl. Moron who doesn’t follow rules – especially MY rules. Moron talking all polite when he’s actually bullsh*tting you on the inside.
And the biggest moron of them all – a pathetic arrogant sunovagun who thinks Harry Potter and Hogwarts happen in real life! This king moron is a big believer of things that he thinks money would pour in like a torrential rain when I snap my fingers or pick my nose. But mind you, the moron wouldn’t budge his ass or do even the most trivial of things to help. He’d rather fry his balls on a million-dollar worth magic carpet.
The last time I checked I am definitely a muggle. JERK.
(apologies for the harsh words… my temper got the best of me)
When I was a sophomore in college, I remember writing all the names of the guys whom I like, who likes me back, who I was linked to (some I don’t even know or knows me) and I think I had quite a long list. Looking back at that, I’d say where have all these boys gone? Well, considering the fact that I’ve been single ever since I can remember.
Well, this ‘exercise’ if I may call it that was something I’ve done at a whim. Probably to somehow reassure myself that I was a completely normal likable teenager. And it was actually kind of embarrassing doing that, trying to come up with some kind of a proof. But honestly when you are at 17, no matter how straight your thinking can be, there are times when you think about…well, boys.
Ten years after, I still think about them. Yes, once in a while between emails and coffee breaks. I am thinking about those guys who came and went, some of them leaving me pretty valuable lessons. Some of them sending me bouts of gagging and wincing.
But the part that I love the most is when I am thinking about that one particular person who could (would?) make me smile at the mere thought of him. That no matter what he does, nothing would seem to change the way I feel about him. That between us, there are no happy beginnings nor sad endings. That the moment he invade my thoughts, there is no stopping. That it is an undeniable fact that I miss him every single minute of every single day. Heck, I even miss him even when he’s around. That a simple glance can send ripples of shock waves to my blood streams.
Funny, you would think that I have fallen in-love.
But sadly, I haven’t “met” this guy yet.
This song has something to do with my momentary ‘cheezy’ mood:
The clouds are parting in the horizon, giving a picture perfect scene that you can only see in paintings. The gray one hovering above the slightly Aqua tarnished skies; and just right below it, the mountain ranges are standing in all their glory amid the apparent gloom. From where I am sitting, squinting my eyes to see more clearly, the green blanket of forests (I presume) are waving at me.
How ironic, I think. Tall skyscrapers are blocking this only view of serenity from my office window.
The white clouds are at a losing end, yet still fighting. I am rooting for them. I hate the gloom. I have this crazy notion that more often than not, the weather dictates my mood. And this morning is a testimony. I woke up all cranky at the sound of the rain lashing at my window. It was an angry pour and I was as mad as hell.
Just a bit later, the white clouds appear to be winning. Now, that’s quite a gap that separates the dark clouds from the mountains (about three-fourths of my thumb now). A few minutes more and the sky is completely azure. No traces of the darkness that enveloped it just less than an hour ago. It’s like witnessing how good can win against evil; it’s fascinating. And the mountains are boasting of the triumph as now, their majesty is all visible.
My ‘ngangabunch’ is going on his mandatory military service for two years! I have to go cold turkey ‘coz I wouldn’t see him doing movies / soaps / no nothing on the Korean tube for quite a while. Oh, well…
Found this news on dramabeans.com:
Army duty calls for Kim Jae Won
I was supposed to blow this number of candles to celebrate my life in all the years that I’ve been here – struggling, trying very hard to make a sense out of it. This year, as I am one step closer to the last digits of the calendar, I think now I get it. =)
I had another yet simple means to celebrate this borrowed life and remind myself that I am truly blessed to be enjoying what God’s creation has to offer… flu – and all sorts of illness I didn’t know I have – and all.
Yes, I am still sick. Ever since my muscles were beaten black and blue at last Sunday’s activity and the three-day visit from mr. nasty flu virus, I’ve been suffering from stomach pains and I am still chickening out to see a doctor to my father’s dismay. I don’t know why but I just don’t want to.
Anyway, I think I have a lot to be thankful for this year even though at times, I am almost convinced that I am stagnant and nothing special ever happens. I haven’t done anything about my ‘plans’ yet; I haven’t bought something that I would really call an investment; I haven’t enrolled in anything that would give me new learning. But now that I think about it, a lot of things have in fact, came my way that in one way or another brought me joy and pain, made me feel loved and needed (and sometimes hated), and other realizations which proves that hey, I am actually human. And the blessings just keep on coming more than the occasional ‘sad’ moments which I always thought would be the end of me.
I don’t know yet but I think I am heading the right direction. Wish me luck!
And for my 27 candles, this is what I am thankful for: (not in order – ‘coz I am still trying to have a sense of it)
1. My faith in my God, my savior still being in-tact and the thirst to know Him more.
2. Mom and pop still together after all the years of bickering (and I know the fact that they are one of those rare couples who are still in-love *gagging*)
3. My friends, though not too many, who are always right around the bend, ready to share and to listen.
4. I love my job (you know what I mean by this!)
5. I am earning sufficiently thus, I can help my family.
6. I am not that healthy and I tend to get sick easily but here I am, still alive =)
7. The mornings when I open my eyes and realize that I have another chance to witness a miracle.
8. The people around me who, without their knowledge, are giving me life’s greatest lessons.
9. My living and breathing stuffed toys / stress-reliever – our pets Miyo Kun and WonBin-shi.
10. I am too young to be an EIC but who cares, I am embracing the responsibility.
11. NFF! (new found friends)
12. My music which sometimes tells me exactly what to do.
13. My coffee indulgence everyday.
14. That I get to visit places (albeit occasional)
15. That I ‘speak’ through writing =)
16. People who never forgets.
17. my internet connection. (haha… sorry, but I really am thankful for it!)
18. The mistakes I made from which I learned.
19. The bruises that have healed and those which are just mending.
20. That I am loved and cared for and I feel that it is truly overwhelming.
21. That I am capable of loving and forgiving.
22. I am no longer angry…(err.. still workin’ on it but gettin’ there)
23. My kuya and ate who are practically my ‘horcruxes’ =)
24. A place that I can call home (kahit na lagi kong nilalayasan)
25. The realization that the world is not as harsh as it seems.
26. The quiet moments with myself.
27. The scary but altogether exciting tomorrow. =)
I still feel a little funny. I still feel nauseous whenever I stand up and I still get a huge kick whenever I attempt watching television or looking at my laptop’s monitor. (Note: I look like a complete git as I am wearing my sunglasses while typing this).
It really sucks to be sick. I was mostly horizontal than vertical in the last three days. And the worst part of it – I haven’t had a decent meal (and a bath!) although I’ve been having quick sponge baths to my mom’s dismay.
I guess, I really got it from the running thing. Forget about being a pro… pros don’t get sick. Argh.
It makes me feel bad being sick a day before I turn older. It makes me feel older and helpless and… older. Single and older. Ayshh.
I guess I need to rest (again!) if I want to get well for real.
I barely slept two hours and I already had to wake up at the sound of my sister’s voice calling from outside my window at 2:30 in the morning. Right, it was the ‘Takbo Para Sa Kalikasan’ day and we had to be at the Quirino Grandstand by 4 in the morning. Which pissed a little part of me when I learned that the actual run wouldn’t happen until 6am. I should’ve slept more.
And so, a few minutes before 4am, I was already ogling Rizal’s statue at Luneta and having my photo taken at the Kilometer-0 mark. It was still very dark and yet, there were surprisingly some crowd gathering here and there – some families who would probably spend their day in Luneta and some joining the run.
The program started at dusk and while half the world was still probably in slumber, the grandstand was already full of people – about a thousand or so – dancing and prancing to the sound of two (or more) amazingly large boom boxes. The scene reminded me a little of Raon and Recto. I have never seen so many guys in very short running shorts already bordering on skimpy that looking at them actually harrasses me at a certain point. There were all sorts of people – families, friends and peers, the coast guards and the police forces, government officials, and TV personalities (not star struck this time!) such as the likes of vice president Noli De Castro, Cory Quirino and Ted Failon.
A stocky guy… scratch that… gay, led the warm ups which appeared more like dancing-while-on-drugs as it required the shameless thrusting of your hips and of your torso more than the normal stretching. But the runners looked like they were having the time of their lives so, why not? I decided I’ll take photos instead.
The runners were divided into three groups based on the distance that they would be completing – 3 km (up to Pedro Gil and back), 5km (up to Quirino Ave. and back) and 10 km (Cuneta Astrodome and back). Since the start and finishing points were at the grandstand, we just had to go around after reaching the designated marks. My sister registered us at the 5km line and I had the sudden notion that I would be going back in an ambulance. I am not a very sporty person and I haven’t had exercise in a long time. I don’t do morning jogging, I don’t do yoga and I am even too lazy these days to do some stretching and sit ups on my own bed. And so it wasn’t really a surprise that even before we got pass the mighty cow statue, I was running out of breath and my legs felt funny already.
But overwhelmed by the fact that this was my first time to join a marathon, I vowed to finish the course no matter what. And so, I ended up running-slash-brisk walking-slash-plain walking on my own (since my sister stops every ten seconds). By the time I reached the 3km mark, I was almost tempted to cheat and turn around to go back. But I was too eager to prove something to myself and beat the lazy and the weak Thet in me. So despite the growing pain on my side (apendix almost raptured), the leg cramps, the shortness of breath and panting, and the occassional unsolicited side comments from some rowdies who were running alongside of me, I finished the course. Yey! My reward? Two bottles of Mineral water, a bottle of Pocari Sweat (which I didn’t take because it practically tastes like, well, sweat!), a dry hotdog sandwich (from my sister’s team) and a pair of legs which refuse to work & walk normally. I was too hungry and I ache all over (especially my left hip) but I was too happy and pleased with myself. Plus, I ate / drank Taho and at that time, it’s the most delicious food I ever tasted. My sister came after a few minutes looking dead beat tired as hell as me. The marathon and the program ended around 8:30.
Since we were already in Luneta and that was our first time again in years to visit the place, we decided to walk or more like limp around the park. Wow, it surely is chaotic on a Sunday. There were all sorts of people doing all sorts of activities – dance aerobics, taichi, kite flying, picnic, lounging around on the grass (which smells like dog poo), playing badminton, playing chess, people watching, sleeping… seemed like everybody is busy being themselves and it felt nice to see that. We went inside this Chinese Garden which, yea, looked like the hang out place of chairman Mao and Confucius during their time. We walked some more around the fountains, took some more photos despite my protesting camera being almost battery empty, indulged in the beauty of Manila’s morning (and surprisingly clear) skyline, and finally hailed a cab home.
More photos here.