Archive for January 2009

Exactly 15 days…

I promised myself I’d always keep my blogs (yep, all of ’em) updated but I could not keep my word. I was too preoccupied characterizing the term ‘busy’. When I think about it, I have been so far at my busiest. Some might criticize me for this… Aba e, kelan ba ko hindi naging busy?

Our new magazine project is to blame. Don’t get this all wrong; I am definitely not complaining. Believe it or not, I am falling in-love with my job all over again… or at least I am trying to. It’s a good thing, right? With the unemployment rate climbing up and the left and right retrenchment even amongst the biggest of companies, I guess I am pretty lucky to have this job. It’s not something to brag about. I wouldn’t really dare, especially considering the kind of working environment I have and that sunnov-a-gun *bleep* for a *bleep*. You have no idea.

It’s February 01. Time is wheezing past me but, surprisingly, I am still able to manage. *Big Smile* I’ve been missing a lot of people but I’m not sure if they miss me as much (haha) As much as I abhor ‘change’ because I am the type of person who tends to be very attached to the current situation and I kind of lose myself when the paradigm tilts, I am learning to live with it. Wow, nagma-mature na yata ako.

The other day, I went on a ‘Field Trip’. I would call it that because it felt like it. My friend K who’s based in Singapore sent me ‘Shokubutsu’ (a body wash which I am fond of calling Zashikibutsu) after I begged her for it since I couldn’t really find any here in RP. I had to go to ‘Jollibee Kalentong’ to meet her friend’s maid who kept texting me for three consecutive days, asking me to get my ‘lotion’. To make the very long and tiring story short, I fought my way to to the meeting place through the ever-chaotic MRT (a complete nightmare, I nearly fell down the train tracks because people were pushing) and rode a jeep which I had no clue whatsoever where it was really going. Plus, may bonus pa – (forgive me for this) the driver smells. Promise, naiintindihan ko naman na maghapon nang namamasada si Manong at pagod na siya, pero naman… no exag pero siguro because I was so tired, I think I puked a little in my mouth and I swallowed it. Sorry, kadiri.

Ironically, I had fun with my little adventure. It was like one of my trips where I had to ask for directions, or sometimes, be stubborn and just follow my gut feel only to feel stupid because I could’ve asked anyway. I passed by my high school but I didn’t see it much because it was dark already. I passed by Sta. Ana bridge and St. Francis – the very familiar places which reminded me only of my highschool friends. Nice – the feeling =)

Then today, I am glued to my laptop, deciphering InDesign and Photoshop. I am practicing with graphics design and layout because I’ll be needing them a lot in the next few days. And, just because I want to learn. Here’s a sample:

Cropped it from one of our group photos and used a background which I ‘stole’ from a Korean catalogue… I think I blurred the edges too much. I used some rendering like lens flare and lighting effects… naks!

My head is throbbing like crazy and I am wondering for the -nth time why the sleeping bug still fails to kick in despite the fact that it’s already half past one in the morning and I am dead beat tired.

Less than 30 minutes ago, me and my sibs were at the hospital (that darn expensive one in Makati) because our stupid dog attacked Mike, my sister’s hubby, and we had to bring him in the emergency for first aid and anti-rabies injection. Of all the time in the world, Won Bin chose to chew on Mike’s legs when all the world’s creatures are just about to go to sleep… haay.

Anyway, it was my first time again in years to be inside the emergency unit of a hospital and I had the sudden urge to watch Grey’s anatomy at the very moment. But what I saw were way far from McSteamy and McDreamy and not even close by an inch to SGH. Oh, well… that’s why it was meant to be seen by me only in tv. What the hell am I thinking anyway?

It was depressing and fascinating at the same time. While some people are fighting to live, with a disturbing number of tubes attached to their helpless and almost lifeless bodies, some even can find time to look ‘glamorous’ and ‘wealthy to be worthy’ to be a patient in that hospital. WTF. Like this lady who has a cast on her arms, looking at people as if she’s trying to weigh in her mind if the next person is ‘capable’ if you know what I mean. I wanted to spit on her cast.

I don’t even know why I am blabbing here about her. I guess she (or at least the look on her face) really got on my nerves.

I need to sleep. I got to sleep.

People always seem to have different POVs (point of views) but sometimes it still doesn’t fail to amaze me how the degree of differences can be so widely stretched amongst individual that you’d think, they’ve been on the opposite sides of the ring from the very beginning.

I don’t know if I am the one being cynical here. All I wanted was to be as close to reality as it can get. Or maybe, I’m the one who’s really letting go of my grip to it.

What is wrong with living your life the way it is meant to be? I am not really a fan of all that ‘pre-destined’ crap but I just couldn’t see myself running after my fate. Especially now that I seem to be in the middle of a chaos that could not be arranged in a whim.

Well, if I am really letting go of reality, blame me, sue me, hurt me. Then, probably, I’d feel better… I’d feel a-okay. If this is growing up, I wouldn’t want it. I want to stay like this forever.

***

I hate it but I am hurting now. Not that suicidal-agonizing hurt but just plain hurt. I’m beginning to believe that I am starting to lose people. Some here, some there. Some indirectly and some, just plain jerks who are actually so stupid when I think about it. (Imagine the nerve of this guy!)

But hey, it’s too early this year to feel that. I lose some, I gain some.

I still am feeling positive and I surely want to smile more than I frown. After all, this life is still pretty as I want it to be. =)


Today is…

January 2009
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