Archive for December 2007
I just had a fight with my mom about an hour ago. And after all the screaming and hurtful exchange of words, I feel bad and guilty and sorry. The reason was very petty and a little bit funny actually ( And I wouldn’t dare elaborate) and we ended up hurting each others’ feelings. I bet there wouldn’t be any talking between us for the next couple of days. Unless of course I lower my pride and apologize to her… which I will… tomorrow when everything has cooled down.
The problem with mom… no matter how she shows and tells us how much she loves us, everything seems to be forgotten the moment she opens her mouth when she’s angry. She curses, she calls us useless ingratas, she wants us out of her house and it almost sounds like we’re the worst thing that ever happened to her. I know she doesn’t really mean those and it’s just a sudden burst of temper that brought it out but still, her words cut deep.
The problem with me… I couldn’t hold myself back for just one second. I talk back. And I talk back with such cruelty that I regret everything that I say the moment they come out of my mouth. I am such an insolent brat or at least I tend to be in this kind of situation. Probably it’s because I want to hurt my mom the way she hurts me. It’s a battle of words and carelessness – we forget that we are a mother and a daughter who loves each other dearly.
Speaking of fights. I had a fight too with my pop last week but we’re okay now. At least that’s what I know considering that he’s talking to me again and he asked me to eat the dinner he cooked yesterday. That’s the thing with papa… when he knows that he started the fight and that he really did offend me, he wouldn’t really cling to his pride; he’d make a small gesture to show that he’s not mad anymore. Mom’s also like that but she tends to be more dramatic.
Chinchin and I almost had a misunderstanding too yesterday. I was in a really bad mood that I thought I kind of lashed it out on her (and to all other people who were within my 2-ft radius). I just wanted to be invisible that I didn’t want to talk, eat, move, look at other people or even hear them talk. I was in a very b*tch* mood that it was a little bit over the edge. It was really a bad timing and a lack of comprehension that Chin got a little pissed of. It was a good thing though that I explained myself to her immediately before the situation got ugly and the next thing I know, we were laughing our asses of at Cafe Breton in Greenbelt after our meeting with an advertiser. Glad to talk than to shut up, if it would mean getting things resolved.
I saw this video again and I can’t help but be a little sad =(
It made me think how in a matter of months, weeks even, I’ll be left behind in the office – the most depressing place for me these days. My friends there will soon be leaving for better opportunities and I have never been happier for them but I can’t help to think what will become of me when they leave. I’ll probably be one of those loner workaholic loonies who doesn’t have a social life… waahh… nooooo! hehe.
On a serious note, I will seriously miss these people. But I know that no matter what happens, these people will always be there for me – ready to cry for my pain and laugh with me like life is nothing but one big party. Come to think of it, most of our friends were already elsewhere but it seems like they never left… thank God for emails and cellphones and YM and MSN messengers.
I just feel a little sentimental when I think about those times when I didn’t seem to feel pain because in our world, laughter cures everything. It’s funny, the irony of it all… work brought us together and it is also the very reason why we had to go different ways. If there’s one thing I’d thank ECCI for, it’s bringing you guys to me.