this is sooo sad…

Posted on: November 3, 2005

I thought everything’s going quite well and i thought this would be my ‘time’… I thought very wrong. All along i was actually hoping that something deep would transpire between me and the pretty guy. i was wishing for it the whole time without realizing that i am wanting more. And now I feel so low, sad, betrayed (but by whom?), cheated by circumstances and blinded by fate. I would never look at ‘serendipity’ the same ever again. I just learned today that the pretty guy has already resigned and would be reporting only until nov. 15, which, by the way, is only 12 days away, minus the three-day vacation and the two days that i would be out of the office the whole time — so that leaves me six days all in all to atleast see him provided he’ll be here at the office too. damn, i am sooooo sad. i am actually hating myself for feeling this way. the poor guy doesn’t even know about how i feel.. and I — the poor girl — don’t even know what to do. As usual, I can see myself wallowing in self pity while cursing fate for allowing me to fall for this one! You know the saddest part? I have realized just yesterday that I am already falling in love with him. Yea, I love him already and I wanna let everybody know ( if it wouldn’t be too much for me). I am foolishly in-love with the guy. Sometimes, love is really difficult to understand. eventhough the person does not see you the same way that you do him, you just merely shrug and say ‘the hell do i care?’ as long as he makes my day… Yet here i am now, miserable and feeling utterly stupid for feeling so low. Why?!?! I don’t even have the answers. and i bet nobody can really answer my stupid inquisition. Well i guess i have to stand by my mantra “If it’s not mine, it’s not mine…” even if this would mean killing myself little by little.


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